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Sunday, December 24, 2006
AND YES. i got a new skin. and im happy with it. its better than the previous one. i mean come on, who would change a skin that is worst than the previous one right? okay right.
sometimes, its hurtful to be regretting. although some of you guys might think that its never too late, but that scar is still there traumatising you everytime u try to merge urself ahead, fulfilling something cleaner and upbringing. to retaliate and to rewind those unwanted times are impossible. lessons are learnt. pain remains. scars sinks underneath ur skin. you gotta let it burn...
like as always in the song "beautiful" .. that goes .. "trying hard to fill that emptiness..". its depriving to not be forgiven by someone whom u thought was initially someone forgiving. unappreciative is what i can put here BUT its so hard to explain, its so hard to conquer, its so hard to not be guilty for whatever i did. ONCE AGAIN, I'M SORRY.
seeing myself at the age of 15 makes me go back... how i wish i wasnt growing older... not maturing myself... putting dear me in various dilemma and obstacles. all i ever think was, CAN I MAKE IT IN THE END? NO? YES? i dunno.
faced myself with a smile, entertain, comical is what i do to cover all those i-dunno-the-word stuffs. while lying is the most a girl can have, uncertainty is what i believe a guy acquires. mentality doesn't work anymore. ANYMORE.
don't ever give up.
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